Every once in a while I am approached by a man about problems concerning his relationship. From those conversations, I am allowed to see a male’s perspective, while giving my own feedback into the female mindset. I consider myself pretty good at advice giving—it also helps that I am a female. So when I hear, “My wife is feeling insecure, asking me to give her my view of her body,” my response is immediate; I spew with information, volcanic style.
My standpoint is quite simple: women are born into judgement. From the moment they are born, they are judged. They then spend the rest of their lives trying to measure up to society’s views of who they need to be, how they need to live, and what their body should look like—by other women. After growing up and surviving judgement by the entire female society, they then seek out and expect men to give them the affirmation that they desperately need.
Women need to hear that their body is worthy, acceptable, and needed.
What they don’t need to hear is that something else about them needs to change, in order to be more desirable—or more loved—by their significant other.
The flip side of this is the man. A man is less inclined to place importance on his own body. He will also place less value on other men’s physical attributes, as well. However, men expect exactly what the female society expects in regards to a woman’s looks and her body. The bar is then set so high, that the female lives in chronic doubt, every day.