This is how I felt today. Almost 2 years ago, with the upcoming birth of our fourth son (yea we did the whole let’s try again for a girl thing), I decided to officially become a stay at home mom (SAHM) — it took me forever to figure out what the heck these letters stood for. It was a decision that I went back and forth with; the deciding factor was that the cost of daycare just didn’t make it financially worth it to work anymore. I looked forward to all of those moments of cuddling, reading stories, park days, and just pure bliss…boy was I in for a rude awakening.
Staying at home became more difficult than I could have ever imagined. The first slap in the face was that there are zero breaks. Where’s my lunch break, or bathroom break?!? I remember asking myself, “how do people stay with their kids all day, every day?” (no judgement, okay!).
Fast forward to today. Today I would have paid money to work somewhere. No lie, I would have been a poop scoop employee, rather than stay home. It was a rough day. I almost had a breakdown first thing in the morning. All I wanted to do was finish my breakfast in peace. I mean it wasn’t even a super delicious breakfast…just eggs and toast, not even any bacon, give me a break! It seemed like today I just couldn’t catch my breath. The 1 year old was grumpy, the threenager was whiny, and my oldest two were probably just trying to stay out of my way.
These days are definitely not every day. There are days that I couldn’t imagine being anywhere else. There are days where I feel so rewarded, getting to see all of the little things; the things that really stick with you. Then there are those days where I’d rather shovel poop. What I’m trying to say here is, there is no perfect decision. If you decide to or have to remain in the workforce, there will be days that you feel like you are missing your child’s greatest moments. On the other side, if you decide to stay at home, there will be days that you feel like you can’t breathe, and if you hear the Bubble Guppies theme song one more time you’re gonna snap. Whichever decision you made, be confident in it. Now, that’s not to say that you can’t change your mind, and decide to go a different route; that’s the amazing thing about life, its flexible.
Whatever you decide to do, just remember that old song, “Mama said there’d be days like this.” Just don’t let “those days” make you regret your decision.