The good news is, yes! In fact, it is extremely important to maintain healthy friendships during the crazy journey called motherhood. Here are some tips on how to keep the peace between your kids while maintaining your close friendships.
1. Be open and honest about the differences or disagreements that you see occurring between your children. Pretending they don’t exist only creates more conflict that could get worse if left unspoken.
2. When talking about the problem, make sure you are speaking about the behaviors or feelings of your child, not the other way around.
3. If your child ever purposely hurts another child take action in some way. Then, call your friend later in the day to apologize and let them know that you are working on the issue. It is important for your friend to know that you care and you don’t want this issue to come between you two.
4. If your child or your friend’s child is having serious, on-going behavior issues then it’s important to have an open discussion about those issues with your friend. It may or may not be best to postpone play time until the issue is resolved, but it’s important to at least talk about it. If your child was hurt by your friend’s child, ask your friend how they are feeling. Most likely they are embarrassed and upset. Let them know that you love them and that you care about them. Go out of your way to call and text them more through out the week.
5. If this relationship is really important then make sure you spend time texting, talking on the phone and getting together without the kids. Just because your kids do not get along, does not mean that you still can’t go out for coffee or dinner.
6. Lastly, try and make the best of each situation. Having a positive outlook on your friendship and whatever issues are occurring can help significantly. If you and your sister or girlfriend are used to taking a vacation together every year, but are unsure about it this year because of the kids, then plan a girls only getaway instead!
Remember, just because your children do not get along now, it does not mean that they won’t get along someday. Don’t give up on your old traditions completely.
Maintaining healthy friendships is important and, just like marriage, it takes effort. By keeping a positive attitude, going out of your way to be a good friend, saying you’re sorry, forgiving, and loving your friends’ children you set the stage for a long term, healthy friendship.