Parental Intelligence first teaches us to Step Back when there’s a misbehavior to review what has happened before deciding what to do. How hard can that be? Actually, very hard!
There’s such an inner pressure to react in the moment. To say, “Stop it!” “Just be quiet!” “Why did you do that when you know better?” “What’s the matter with you?”
How would we feel, if someone said that to us?
The impulse to act immediately as if there’s a fire alarm sounding off in your brain is just so powerful that we come out with the most useless, harsh, nonsensical comments that blow our kids away. They don’t even feel bad for themselves. We’re so off the mark, they feel bad for us! They know that we’ve lost it and they’re the one saying, “Chill, mommy, chill!” “Things will be all right.”
So who’s the parent then?
Three Tips to Reduce Impulsivity in Parenting Reactions
1. Stop Rushing — I know it’s counter-intuitive, but give it a shot.
When there’s so much to organize from your own work clothes and appointments to several lunches, backpacks, and emails to teachers, you forget that you’re dealing with human relationships. Relationships with little people nonetheless!
Rushing interferes with thinking.