I tend to be cautious about sharing my heart about my faith or God. I don’t think twice about telling you how my run went this morning (my lower calf hates me), or Lil Man’s latest antics, or even when Hubby either makes me laugh or cry. But my faith, maybe because it’s just so personal, isn’t something that I always open up about.
My grandfather was a pastor and from a very young age, I grew up in Church. So Church and church related things are not new to me. Getting married, moving far away from home and familiarity, and becoming a Mom was totally new to me – as is finding a Church that my family and I can attend. My son is old enough now to start asking questions, and he is genuinely curious. So both my husband and I feel that we should attend Church. We are currently attending the Church where my son goes to preschool. It’s been an easy transition for him since he sees familiar faces.
I’ve felt the tugging on my heart more than once. The sermons have hit me spot on (Do You Follow the Golden Rule?). And I have enjoyed the worship service. But today, today as we sang I Surrender All, I had to let go – let go of the fear, the doubt, the uncertainty, the things beyond my control, the feelings of inadequacy both as a parent and as a wife, the loneliness as I inwardly dropped to my knee – broken – and surrendered it all. See the song wasn’t I Surrender Some. I Surrender What’s Easy. I’ll Just Hold on To This Little Piece That I can Control. No, it’s I Surrender All.
Did you know that broken bones heal stronger than before? Today for the first time in a very long time, I felt home.