From the first moment I saw those two little pink lines, I felt giddy and excited. Allow me to set the scene. Me staring at those pink lines that changes a woman’s world forever with a big bubble over my head with fantasies of life as a little family. It’s all smiles and cooing as we smile at our newborn. It’s midnight feedings with the husband waiting on us hand and foot, massaging my back while telling me, it’s okay baby you go to sleep I will take this shift, you deserve to take a break.
Now let’s pop those air bubbles and come back down to reality. Marriage is hard work and having a newborn adds extra stress to your marriage. I know what you are thinking because not only have I thought it, but I have also said it. We just had a baby so it should be the happiest time of our life together!
The truth is, it’s not always the case. As moms we think that our partner is going to share responsibilities 50/50 right? As much as it pains me to say this, it is only a fantasy. My marriage struggled the most in that first year of having a baby. We had more fights in that first year than we have in our entire eleven years together. Three children later, and I think we can finally say, we got this! Here are some tips to help you get through those tough years.
1. If you want your husband to help with something then ask him – I had such high expectations of my husband and just expected him to know telepathically what I needed him to help with. It was after baby number two that I realized that he will help with anything I need him to do, but I have to ask.
2. Remember to ask nicely – It needs to sound like a request and not a demand. This one still gets me in trouble from time to time. Your husband is your partner not your child so do not bark orders at him or it will result in a fight.