5 Things Not to Say to a Mom Expecting Baby #2

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CANDID resizeI’m pregnant with number two. I admit I am totally thrilled to add another child to my life, but at the same time, pretty scared because my son and I have become two peas in a pod…will there be room in my heart for another baby? I know the heart has a way of expanding, but it surely doesn’t help when friends, family, and people I could really care less about throw around useless verbiage about my growing belly. Here are some ridiculous things people have said to me about expecting baby #2 — all things I highly suggest you refrain from saying to a mother with #2 on the way.

1. Do you hope it’s a boy/girl?
Really? As if I have a choice? And even if I did have a preference, what makes you think I’d tell you? As a mom of one boy and an unknown on the way, I can honestly say the fertility gods will give me what I’m meant to have, and no matter the gender, I will love that child regardless. As someone who admittedly always pictured pigtails and princesses, there’s something super cool about being a boy mom, and my son, in many ways, has become my soul mate/pal/BFF. (And for the record, boys adore their mamas.) -end “boy mom” rant- Anyway, don’t ask me what I’m hoping for gender-wise. You’d then feel sorry for me if I didn’t get what I “wanted,” and then there would always be an unspoken weirdness between us. Besides, call me old fashion, but I just want a healthy baby!

2. Once the baby arrives, your first-born won’t know what hit him/her.
Yes, people (as in plural) have said this to me. This is an example of when my maternal horns come out; often my response to statements such as these are snippy and snotty. How dare someone tell me I’m putting my beloved first-born’s life in turmoil? How dare they make things even scarier for me; don’t they know I already fear not being able to love a second as much as I love my first? I just don’t get why people say such stupidity. My first-born will always be the one who had me–and only me–for a certain period of time. I will never have that one-on-one, solely focused quality attention on a single person for the rest of my life, so please refrain from telling me adding another child to the family is going to turn my first’s life upside down.

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Nadine Bubeck is a mommy, wife, host, author, TV personality and blogger. The former TV news anchor is now the Spokesmom for Moms Magazine and host of the website’s Moms TV. Nadine’s book, Expecting Perfect: My Bumpy Journey to Mommyhood, is Nadine’s completely candid pregnancy journal. It has earned rave reviews and has been featured on television stations nationwide.

Contact: nadine@nadinebubeck.com

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