“Hey, Skinny Girl!”
“You need to eat a hamburger.”
No, I don’t. I need to eat whatever I want to eat. That might be a salad. That might be a steak. That might be a mountain of crawfish. I don’t need to eat something just because someone else believes it to be true.
“You go to the gym too much.”
Uh? Too much for whom? I missed all last week, because my child was sick. I missed last month, because my leg hurt. I’ll miss tomorrow, because I work twelve hours. How am I going to the gym too much?
“Wow, she’s tiny. Almost as tiny as (random name of some female).”
I compare me to me, no one else. I am myself, for myself. You may not see my worth, because you don’t know where I started. I know. I know who I am, and I’m not here for anyone else. Just me.
There is something about a woman being a certain size that elicits remarks about her weight. Whether it arises from jealousy, from weight shaming, or from the inability to filter one’s words, I’m not sure. But, as women, we create hurtful, unnecessary comments toward the women we deem “thin,” “skinny,” or “tiny.”
In doing so, we create words that are, in themselves, demeaning inflections of character. These comments are our projections, our insecurities about our own bodies, toward other women. We make these remarks because they are different.
However, harmful words affect people. They hurt. They damage. They erode.
What we need to do, instead, is understand each other. To understand the worth of another, we need to first learn to see the value in ourselves, in our image in the mirror, and who we are, as individuals. We need to understand who we are, why we are, and what we desire. We need to know that we are worthy, and project that worth onto others, instead of jealousy.
From this, we can learn to find comfort in our own bodies. No one else knows the struggles that we go through. No one else understands what we put our bodies through. No one else lives our walk in life. What drives one person does not drive the next. What motivates one person, will not motivate another. When we learn to accept ourselves—along with our flaws—we can begin to see the worth in other women, their bodies, and their walk.
My own walk is long and arduous. It is rife with struggle, but the desire to succeed keeps me moving, and working, toward my life goals. Although this is sad to admit, years ago, I lost my way. I am a classic overachiever, and it almost killed me. Perfection is my Kryptonite, but now that I know that, I temper my goals, and acknowledge my failures.