Carrie Wible

Carrie Wible is a freelance content writer, humor blogger, professional music/arranger, and one time 1-8 grade teacher. Her family consists of pure testosterone with her husband, and 3 boys ages 17, 4, and 4.


While I like looking nice and feeling clean, the whole morning beauty routine sucks. I usually dread it, because it’s an hour I can never get back. Oh sure, the end result is worth it, unless my hair holds a mutiny, but it just takes too damn long. I often wish I were a dude, […]


I went upstairs to wake my 4 year old boys this morning and there they were: lips slightly parted, hair mussed, one leg thrust over the side of the bed, delicate snores coming from one child, grizzly bear nose growls from the other, and lots and lots of drool. Holy cow, were they cute. My heart swelled. […]


When I was young and my Mommy said I needed to take my medicine, I don’t remember there being an option of “no”. I distinctly remember shuddering, crying, whining a lot, and begging, but inevitably, I would get the full name scolding (and you know it’s bad when you get all three names) of: “Carrie Marie Newtz, […]


I often joke that people can find me naked in a corner rocking myself while sucking my thumb and muttering incoherently since having twins. It’s not a joke. Ok, I don’t physically do it, but in my head I have a special place I go to full of Skittles and rainbow tasting, and lots and […]


  20 Rhetorical Questions My Children Hear Daily 1. What was the exact date that I officially became your maid? 2. How does one rectangle of graham cracker turn into a 3 pound pile of graham dust? 3. When will you finally get that “please” is a magical word for you, and will actually get you what […]


So, I was having a mid-life crisis. Having just turned thirty-five, being in a craptastic marriage, and knowing I would most likely be having no more children, I decided to get the alternative in the form of a white, six-pound, desperately in need-of-Ritalin frou-frou Havanese puppy. I repeat, white. She was almost impossible to take care of with her […]


When it comes to my children complaining about how hard their lives are, I try not to be that mom who says: “In my day, I had to walk two miles one way to school, all uphill, in the snow, and barefoot.” I save that for my grandma, who really did have to do that. […]